


"I Wish This Was A Joke, But...."

by eli_beeli



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Anyways, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Matchmaking, Mutual Pining, POV Third Person Limited, Pining, Pining Michael, also i hc that mr reyes first name is jacques bc that seems super prim and proper and hes n o t, also theres hinted richjake and pinkberry but nothing major, and im ranting in the tags oops, anyways enjoy this!!!, as per usual, btw christine was taught to never swear like ever and only does when its in a line for a play, but im gonna tag it as such just in case!!!, but maybe not!! it all depends on ur interpretation!!, but mostly jer, but no actual on screen stuff bc im a smol, i guess kinda a chat fic, i had fun writing it!!!, i have a coping mechanism its called making other ppl and fiction charas happy when im not, im pretty sure this counts as, jeremy is bi, mentions of nsfw, mikey is gay, no hurt without comfort or shit like that, pining Jeremy, pining jeremy bc i live for pining jeremy, this is based off a tumblr post bc it was too funny to pass up, this is fluff bc thats all i can write, u wont catch me writing flat angst nu-uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-23 16:16:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11405997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eli_beeli/pseuds/eli_beeli
Summary: ☆☆Player One ☆☆:So uh, Jer, I wish this was a joke butJeremy made a face as he opened his messenger with Michael just as the second set of messages arrived.☆☆Player One ☆☆:I kinda☆☆Player One ☆☆:Okay, well not kinda☆☆Player One ☆☆:I lost my voice from sucking too much dick





	"I Wish This Was A Joke, But...."

**Author's Note:**

  * For [osterac1999](https://archiveofourown.org/users/osterac1999/gifts).



> _Based on[this](https://cuddlehoe.tumblr.com/post/162022880022) tumblr post!_  
>  i had a lot of fun writing this, so i hope its just as good to read!!!
> 
> shoutout to @osterac1999 for bein my hype kid!!!!

Jeremy was sitting in his room, playing through Pokemon Red (again) on the Gameboy Color Michael had given him for his 13th birthday when his phone chimed. The sound of the beginning notes from the pacman theme was muffled some by the blanket his phone was on. He set down the game, picking up the phone as he squinted at the message displayed on the screen

 **☆☆Player One ☆☆:** So uh, Jer, I wish this was a joke but

Jeremy made a face as he opened his messenger with Michael just as the second set of messages arrived.

 **☆☆Player One ☆☆:** I kinda  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Okay, well not kinda  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** I lost my voice from sucking too much dick

Jeremy sputtered, causing him to start coughing heavily. Once he caught his breath and the churning in his stomach settled some, he typed out a reply, trying not to think about his best friend sucking strangers’ dicks rather than _his-_

He cut himself off of that train of thought before it could get much further. Michael needed some assistance. Jeremy could be jealous later. Kinda.

 **Me:** mikey u what  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Ok Heere, you gotta understand that I am objectively cute, and also have a sex drive  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** So I’m not about to, like, pass up the chance for a few hookups with reciprocated oral  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** :p  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** But, uh, yeah, any suggestions on how one might get their voice back after losing it???  
**Me:** well ive never sucked so much dick so as to make that happen so idk what to tell u mikey  
**Me:** i mean i can think of a few remedies for that normally  
**Me:** but idk how to fix it from too much dick  
**Me:** :p  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Rude  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** But you gotta share those remedies my dude  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Cause I really can’t explain why I can’t talk to the Squad during lunch  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** I’m not it the right headspace for the whole school to know Michael’s been sucking lots of dick because Jenna sits with us  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Please Jer you gotta help me

Jeremy sighed, torn between helping his super cute best friend or letting his jealousy get the best of him.

He went with the latter.

 **Me:** idk mikey u might need a dif solution than normal bc u sucked so much dick it changed ur mouth chemistry or somethin  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Jer, I swear to all that is holy, you gotta give me a remedy or I’ll tell everyone you’re a furry  
**Me:** and then ill tell them u still watch he-man  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** You won’t dare Jeremiah Heere  
**Me:** oh trust me i would mell  
**Me:** u cant blackmail me bc i have the same kinda stuff on u  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** I’m mad that you’re right  
**Me:** ;)  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Don’t you winky face me you little shit  
**Me:** ;)  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** I swear to god Jeremy  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** But seriously please help me out here, Heere  
**Me:** google exists??? idk what to tell u. its ur fault for suckin all that dick. now u kno not to do that next time lol  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Jeremy please I want to keep my aura of cool nerdy mystery at school, not become the subject of 500 blowjob requests and resident slut of the Squad  
**Me:** idk what to tell u mell  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** JEREMY PLEASE  
**Me:** ;)  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** JEREMY I SWEAR TO GOD  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** YOU BETTER ANSWER ME HEERE  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** BECAUSE I’M SURE AS HELL NOT ASKING THE ANGEL SHE DOESN’T NEED TO KNOW I’M IMPURE  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Or Rich. He’d just high five me and ask who and forget I loST MY vOICE  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** And Chlo and Brooke are both to close to the gossip chain to not let that leak, so not them  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Plus Jenna is literally the gossip chain so, uh, no  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** And Jake is the same as Rich.  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Jeremy please you’re my only option  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Jeremy it’s been 10 minutes and I know you’re reading these dumbass they’re marked read  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** You can’t lie to me

Jeremy laughed at Michael’s ranting and general cute behavior before stretching and laying down on his bed, holding up his phone to type out a quick last response.

 **Me:** i cant but man am i beat after school and playing video games!! i goin to bed!! (◡‿◡✿)  
**Me:** gn!!

Jeremy plugged his phone in and started playing music on his computer from a mixtape Michael had given him last year as he started working on his homework to make sure he got tired enough to fall asleep. He smiled as he ignored the continuous tones from his phone. He’d check them in the morning.

 

  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** JEREMIAH ELIZABETH HEERE I SWEAR TO GOD I JUST TOLD YOU YOU COULDNT LIE AND YOU JUST LIED YOU HO  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** AND DO _NOT_ USE THAT TONE WITH ME YOUNG MAN!  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Jer please I know you’re still up and I really need advice  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Jer  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Jeeeeeerrrrrr  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Jeremy!!!  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Holy shit are you actually asleep  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Jeremy  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** How could you do this to me  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** I trusted you dude  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** …  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Ok well I guess I’ll trust google???  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Time to pray drinking lots of water and honey works??  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Aight so I’m gonna go to bed. Good night Jeremy  
_< ☆☆Player One ☆☆ has deleted a message.>_  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Aaahhh just uhm, ignore that.  
**☆☆Player One ☆☆:** Good night!!

Jeremy smiled as he read the messages, wondering to himself what the deleted message had been before shrugging and continuing his walk to Michael’s house so they could drive the rest of the way to school together. He covered his mouth behind his hand as he laughed when Michael came out of his home, his hoodie pulled over his head and tied so tightly it almost completely obscured his face. He was slouched over and batted at Jeremy’s hand as he passed, making a weak groan.

“Oh! A noise! Did the water and the honey help?” he asked, but when Michael shook his head, frowned. “I’m sorry. I’m good enough to figure out what you’re saying in sign, if you remember that. I’m glad it’s now useful for purposes besides talking silently with you across the room! Besides, I wouldn’t want my best friend to be voiceless all day.” Michael made a noise of approval and Jeremy laughed.

“Mikey, you need to stop doing that if you want to get better sooner! Then you can get back t-…” Jeremy stopped himself, the joke he had been about to make causing his stomach to churn. “Uhm, anyways! I need your head out of that hoodie if you want me to be able to tell what you’re signing half the time, Mikey.” Michael flipped him off. “Rude! Spell it out!”

‘Jeremy, I’m not leaving my cocoon,’ he finger-spelled, and Jeremy broke out laughing.

“Michael! You have to! I can’t properly translate if I can’t make out all your words! Unless you want me to fuck it up _really_ badly, like saying “When does the prostitute end” rather than the period.” He laughed as Michael batted at his arm, smiling wide at him as he pulled down the hood, making a faux-bright expression as he signed.

‘Happy now?’

“Very!” He smiled big at Michael, and he thought the slight reddening of his ears was just due to the sun. “Now, let’s get to driving. I’ll drive so you don’t take your hands off the wheel to sign angrily at other drivers,” he teased, and Michael shook with withheld laughter as he got in.

‘You right.’

“I knew I was!”

‘Fuck off.’

 

Jeremy spoke for Michael in all of the classes they shared, explaining that Michael had lost his voice due to a cold, which Michael thanked him for profusely. This got him to trust Jeremy, so he wasn’t prepared for lunch, when he would ultimately be betrayed.

 

“Hey dudes! How’re y’all doing?!”

“‘Y’all’? Where are you from Jake, Mississippi?”

“Shut it, Rich!” Jeremy laughed and waved as Michael tried not to laugh so as to not bother his throat more. Jenna piped up.

“I’ve heard tell that Michael lost his voice? Can I ask how?” Michael smiled awkwardly and tapped Jeremy, signing the same excuse Jeremy had been giving his teachers all day, and Jeremy smiled.

“He sucked too much dick,” he explained, trying to keep the jealous tone out of his voice to appear impartial. There were cries of outrage from Michael and cries of shock from the rest of the table.

“He _what_?! Dude! I didn’t think you had it in you!” Rich yelled, crawling across the tabletop so as to offer Michael a high five while the boy in question signed rapidly, trying to make an excuse. The others piped up after the initial confusion.

“Damn boy, who’s dick were you sucking, and how many? I hope you didn’t beat Chlo’s record-”

“What record, Jenna?! You’ve been keeping track?! What the fuck?! Also, nice job Michael. I gotta say, I expected you to be the last to not be a virgin. Looks like I owe Rich 50 bucks, you fuck.”

“You got that right, Valentine!”

“Wait, what did I miss?” Christine asked, walking up to the table, tilting her head in confusion before Jake piped up.

“Michael lost his voice after sucking too much dick-”

“Oh my gosh! Did you finally-” Michael rushed over to her, quickly covering her mouth before signing ‘no’ with his free hand. She pouted as the conversation continued.

“Did you use protection-”

“Oh my god, Brooke, are you his mom?”

“No! I just want to make sure he didn’t get an STD! Friends care about whether or not their friends got herpes, Chloe!” She stuck her tongue out.

“Well, Michael, I hope you know I’m proud you got that D. Keep it up, just, uh, be safe, I guess. Like Brooke said.”

“Aww, Jake, babe, are you Mikey’s dad now? That’s adorable!”

“Michael, seriously, I need to know who it was for… Psych. Yeah.”

“Jenna you’re not fooling anyone.”

“I know.”

Michael gave Jeremy a look of betrayal before slumping into his seat at the table, covering his face with his hoodie.

“Michael just signed that he wasn’t a virgin earlier than any of you,” Jeremy supplied as he watched Michael’s hands move under the table, forming letters in quick succession.

“Well, Chloe’s record is 14 blow jobs, Jake’s slept with 6 people, and Chloe has also slept with 19 people. Chloe’s is at 15, Jake’s was at 16,” Jenna stated calmly, before looking to Michael. Rich sat on the table.

“So, Mikey, how many are you at?” he asked, and Jeremy started choking on his milk. Oh god, he hated that he knew when and at least half of how many already. Michael groaned and put a hand on the table so Jeremy could best translate.

“28 slept with and I was 14,” Jeremy says, looking determinedly into his milk carton, wishing it would swallow him whole. The table exploded again with everyone’s overlapping yelling.

“ _WHAT_?! Mell’s gotten more than all of us?!” Chloe yelled while Jenna tapped her phone rapidly.

“Holy shit! Mikey boy, you have _game_!” Rich yelled before standing on the table, clearing his throat loudly, silencing the lunch room. Jenna held up her phone, obviously recording. “EVERYONE, I HAVE A BIG FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENT: MICHAEL MELL IS NOT A VIRGIN AND HAS SLEPT WITH MORE PEOPLE THAN JAKE. TAKE THAT AS YOU WILL, SINCE MICHAEL'S SLEPT WITH 28 DIFFERENT PEOPLE,” he screamed, and Michael put his face into his hands while Jeremy was torn between feeling pity and prideful for the retribution he’d helped enact. Jenna tapped on her phone before looking up with a smile.

“Posted!”

Michael groaned deeply and covered his face with his hoodie more before pressing it into his arm, the other resting to his side on the table. Jeremy smiled softly, reaching over to rest his hand over Michael’s.

“Hey, sorry for outing you like that. I just…” he trailed off, not wanting to ruin his friendship with Michael quite yet. He settled for laughing slightly instead. “It was too easy an opportunity. You have my permission to do the same to me at a later point for revenge, okay?” Michael made a soft noise of approval and Jeremy felt his face break into a wide smile.

“You’re the best, Michael.” He leaned over, resting his head on Michael’s shoulder as the chatter of the lunchroom over the announcement slowly died down. Jenna snapped a photo while the duo was distracted.

_-Group Chat with **bich** , **mercutioismyson** , **dill pickle** , **jennatheACEgossip** , **Mythic Bitch** , and **pinkberry** -_

**bich:** ok yall place ur bets on meremy hook up  
**pinkberry:** Wait, what?  
**bich:** aight so who thinks the gays already got together  
**mercutioismyson:** 30 bucks on that or today!!!!  
**dill pickle:** im puttin a good 20 on two weeks from now  
**pinkberry:** CHRISTINE?!?!?! You’re in on this too?!?  
**jennatheACEgossip:** 20 for next month  
**Mythic Bitch:** 100 on next week  
**bich:** kk ive got 30 on this week or tomorrow  
**bich:** brooke??  
**pinkberry:** ….  
**pinkberry:** 100 on 3 weeks.  
**pinkberry:** God forgive me for sinning like this.  
**Mythic Bitch:** Awww brookie!! You’re so cute!!!  
**pinkberry:** Please stop, I feel bad already….  
**bich:** nah dude dont worry  
**bich:** they wont mind  
**bich:** i mean hell they probs wont even notice lol  
**bich:** also a reminder that a total of 1003 is still on the table from the previous bets lol  
**dill pickle:** rich’s got a point  
**dill pickle:** i mean only a blind man can’t see how long jeremy’s been giving mell heart eyes lol  
**jennatheACEgossip:** he’s right tbh, i have evidence of the crush going back to 7th grade  
**pinkberry:** Holy shit, nevermind I guess.  
**Mythic Bitch:** ;0  
**dill pickle:** hbjska;JVBFjadvbWFBBVDJNAJ  
**dill pickle:** CHLPE USES SHITYT EMOJIS HOLYT FUKC  
**Mythic Bitch:** SHUSH YOUR FACE  
**jennatheACEgossip:** too late already screenshotted  
**Mythic Bitch:** I hate all of you.

 

Jeremy spent the rest of the day translating again for Michael, who chugged honey at lunch, and despite the boy in question’s weak protests claiming he was _fine_ , Jeremy, stop it, he’ll be fine- he continued.

He didn’t mention that he liked being Michael’s voice, copying the inflection he was sure he would be using could he speak, some of which he could figure out from the expressions that went along with the signs. It also gave him an excuse to sit next to his crush in every class for translation purposes and watch him intensely without drawing suspicion. It almost made him hope Michael would remain semi-voiceless for a while longer, despite the reason for the loss of his voice continuing to make his stomach twist angrily.

He laughed as Michael signed, face betraying his annoyance at the lesson on biology, saying he’d learned this in 7th grade, because of the way his brows furrowed, looking soft and cute. He repressed the urge to kiss the best friend as he watched him speak.

 

Michael called him on the phone early the next morning, voice scratchy but usable.

“Okay you tall fuck, get up so I can drive you in, like, 10 minutes. My voice is back, by the way, which is great.”

“Mmm. Do ya promise not tah suck too much di-dick ‘fore a school day ‘gain, Mikey?” he mumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes drearily. Michael sputtered on the other end.

“Jer- Jeremy! You- You can’t just- Oh my fucking god, Jer!” Jeremy smiled as he thumbed through his clothing drawer.

“Mmm, you know, you’re real’ cute when you’re embarrassed, Mikey,” he slurred, still half asleep. A dull thud sounded on the other end.

“ _Fuck!_ Jer-Jeremiah Heere! You- You can’t just _say_ that!” Michael yelled on the other end after a brief pause and shuffling noises. “Oh my god, I’m going to die and sleepy Jer’ll be the cause of death.”

“Huh? Did’ja say somethin’, Mikey?”

“N-nothing!”

 

Christine cornered him after he walked into school alone, Michael having dropped him off at the door. He adjusted his collar nervously.

“H-hey, Chris. Wh-What are you doing here?” he stuttered, holding onto his arm. Christine narrowed her eyes.

“Don’t you “what are you doing here” me, Heere. You need to confess!” Jeremy sputtered.

“Wh-what?! I-I-I h-have n-”

“Don’t play coy, Heere, you can’t lie for all the stars in the sky and I know it.” Jeremy pouted and Christine laughed.

“S-seriously, Chris, wh-what sparked this?” he asked, trying to will the blush from his face. He got the feeling his efforts were in vain. Christine sighed deeply.

“You obviously got _super_ jealous over Michael sleeping with other guys, else you wouldn’t have said what you did yesterday.” He bit his lip and she put her hand on his shoulder. “Does he at least know you’re not straight?” Jeremy nodded. “Okay, so that’s a start. Now you just have to confess to him, honey!” He sputtered.

“Chris! I can’t- I can’t do that! Wh-what if that ruins our friendship forever and he abandons me and I fall into a deep depression and fail my senior year and-”

“Don’t get accepted into a college and then multiple other catastrophes occur back to back until you end up as a hobo living in a box under a bridge?” she finished easily.

“Yes, exactly!”

“Honey, that won’t _happen_! That’s your anxiety talking! I know Michael. I mean, not as well as you do, of course, but still, he wouldn’t leave you over a crush! It might make things a bit awkward between you two for like, a week, but you’d still be super close! Admitting a crush won’t _destroy_ 12 years of friendship, Jeremy. Anyways, he might feel the same! You never know!” He hugged himself.

“Chris, I…” She hugged him. “I just… I’m scared of being hurt-o-or, worse, hurting _him_ -!” He felt tears building in his eyes and sniffled. She pulled away, looking up so their eyes met.

“Jeremiah Heere, you’re not going to be. And even if you are, it won’t be for long! So you need to go out there! Take a chance so you can try and improve everything for you, otherwise nothing’ll change! Plus, it won’t hurt him, trust me on that, you big geek.” He sighed, but nodded, and she started bouncing on her feet. “Great! I’ll be looking out for it, honey!” She hugged him tight again, and he chuckled nervously.

“Hey, what’re you two up to there?” Michael piped up, walking over with a grin. “Not getting back together, I hope.” Christine laughed at that.

“Phhft- No way! I love Jeremy, but I’m ace-aro as heck!” Jeremy stiffened slightly as Michael draped an arm around his shoulders.

“Good, then I get to keep him to myself!” Jeremy sputtered a bit at that while Christine covered her mouth, shoulders shaking with laughter as he felt his face go a deep red. Christine wiggled her eyebrows some before cackling, and Jeremy felt the urge to be swallowed up by the floor. Luckily, the warning bell saved him from further embarrassment or questions of Michael, and he quickly shot off towards his class, willing down the blush before Jake saw it and teased him. Again.

 

Jeremy tried to get alone with Michael, he really did, but he kept chickening out at the last second. He could only hope his erratic behavior wasn’t worrying Michael too much. Michael then cornered him after his last period, brows drawn. Welp, there went that hope.

“Jeremy, is something wrong? You’ve been acting really weird all day- Wait, did Christine say something mean? Do I need to fight her, ‘cause I will-”

“Michael, no, no, nothing’s wrong, and Chris didn’t do anything!” he interjected, shaking his hands in front of him to further his point. Michael narrowed his eyes.

“Are you sure? Because you’re really jumpy, and I only the want the best for you. You deserve the best.” Jeremy bit his lip. “Also, something _is_ wrong, or else you wouldn’t be fiddling with the hem of your cardigan and biting your lip. So, what is it?” He looked around at all the people filing out of the classrooms and into the halls. Jeremy felt almost claustrophobic with all the people surrounding him. He- He couldn’t, not in the crowd-

“Hey, Jer? Do you need to go somewhere quieter? You look like you’re gettin’ really bad-” He nodded quickly, and Michael took his hand. They speed-walked out to the parking lot and Michael’s car. Jeremy felt his lungs opening up again as they left the crowd, and once they closed the doors to the car, he felt alright again.

“Sorry.” Michael laughed softly.

“Hey, anything for you, Jer.” He took a deep breath. He had to do this, had to get it off his chest before it ate him alive. Before _Christine_ ate him alive.

“Hey, Michael… I… I’m sorry for panicking earlier, but I’m even more sorry for what I’m about to say.” Michael looked over sharply, his eyes confused and scared. “I…” he willed his heart to calm down, trying not to hyperventilate. “I… Michael, I-I’m in love wi-with you!” Michael froze in his seat before laughing awkwardly, his smile clearly forced.

“Haha, l-love you too bro-”

“No! I-I love you ro-romantically, Michael!” Michael froze again, hardly moving to breathe and Jeremy put his face into his hands. “I… I’m so, so s-sorry, I’ve prob-probably just ruined everything,” he said, voice cracking every few words as he desperately tried not to sob into his hands.

“Woah- Jeremy! Breathe, please, I mean, I probably need to take my own advice because I don’t remember the last time I breathed, oh that’s bad-” Michael took a deep breath before continuing. “Okay, Jeremy, uhm, wow, I’m still kinda in shock from that- Wait, but, like, not in a bad way, like, I’m super pumped and shit and kinda wanna kiss you, but that’s gonna have to wait until I actually help you stop crying and having a panic attack in my car, so I need you to-”

He looked up from his hands, vision blurred from the tears in his eyes as he processed Michael’s words, the boy gesticulating wildly despite the small space as he continued ranting, trying to calm both of them down at the same time. Jeremy had stopped crying, but his breathing was still too fast. He continued anyways.

“W-wait, Michael, you w-want to kiss _me_?” he asked softly, voice fast. He bunched the fabric of his cardigan in his fists, nervous, as Michael looked over, smiling big and bright and beautiful and Jeremy’s breath caught in his throat. His face was flushed red and Jeremy couldn’t get over how stunningly beautiful his best friend was. Michael ran a hand through his hair, his most common nervous tick.

“I- Jer, fuck, I’ve wanted to kiss you since freshman year, I just, I never thought you’d be interested in _me_ , being and acting so straight and all-”

“I’m _really_ not-”

“I can see that _now_ , Jer, but I thought you’d never go for me, so I just… Compensated with a lot of one night stands? I guess? But holy shit, now I’m here and I really wanna kiss you- can we be boyfriends? I really, really wanna be your boyfriend, because, oh my god, Jeremiah Heere you’re beautiful and stunning and perfect and I can’t believe I’ve been pining over you for, like, 3 years and now you tell me you love me romantically? I’m just. In shock.” Jeremy laughed.

“I understand. I was just… Too weak to do that stuff like you? But I’ve, uh, kinda been in love with you like that since 7th grade? So, uh, I get it. Also, I’m _not_ beautiful or stunning or perfect, those are all descriptors for you?” Michael paused looking shocked.

“Okay, one, don’t put yourself down, and two, holy shit how the fuck did neither of us notice we could have gotten together freshmen year. Fuck you past Michael for being oblivious.” Jeremy laughed, and leaned in.

“Yeah, alright, _boyfriend_ , lean over your stupid head so we can kiss in a cramped car instead of wondering about what-ifs, yeah?” Michael grinned wider, his blush deepening at the word ‘boyfriend’ before leaning in for the kiss.

It was warm, and Jeremy couldn’t get over how _perfect_ it felt, the way his skin tingled in a soft, inviting way, not harsh, and he suddenly understood what all the fanfics he had read were talking about when they spoke of the fireworks that came with first kisses. They pressed into each other for as long as they could manage before Jeremy pulled back, gasping for breath. Michael let out a weak wolf whistle.

“Holy shit. I… Wow.” he said, breathlessly as he leaned back in his seat. “Damn. Holy fuck. I’m dyin’ Scoob.” Jeremy laughed, batting at Michael’s arm.

“Stop! I was ‘bout to kiss you again if you hadn’t started meme-ing!” Michael waggled his eyebrows, prompting him to fall into a fit of laughter.

“Well then, Miah, guess I just gotta keep on meme-in’ til you kiss me to shut me up, _princess_ ,” he shot back, keeping his tone flirtatious. Jeremy laughed harder.

“Oh- Oh my _god_ , I-phft- I wasn’t expect y-you to use th-that one!” he cackled. They both laughed for a while longer until they calmed enough to breathe again.

“So, about kissing again…?”

“Ab-so-fucking-lutely, Heere. Get your cute face over here.” Jeremy laughed before climbing over the dash and into Michael’s lap, smiling down at him.

“Hi.”

“Hiya there, geek. Now, what were we doing…?” He laughed before leaning down to kiss him, smiling into the kiss.

 

_-Group Chat with **bich** , **mercutioismyson** , **dill pickle** , **jennatheACEgossip** , **Mythic Bitch** , and **pinkberry** -_

**jennatheACEgossip:** okay so rich wins the bet  
**bich:** fUCK YEAH BABY I DIDNT EVEN STEP IN TO HELP SUCK ON THAT NERDS  
**dill pickle:** well damn  
**Mythic Bitch:** Oh my god rich can you maybe chill  
**bich:** hoW BOUT MAYBE YOU CHILL  
**pinkberry:** Dang. Also, Chlo, you totally walked into that one.  
**mercutioismyson:** oops,,,,  
**pinkberry:** Wait, what do you mean oops??  
**mercutioismyson:** haha well,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,........  
**jennatheACEgossip:** she intervened early on today, corned jer, and egged him on to confess  
**dill pickle:** damn jenna, spill that tea  
**pinkberry:** You all are terrible.  >:p  
**bich:** haha get rEKT CHRISTINE  
**bich:** but yeah thanks bro  
**bich:** ill give 100 of my new fortune to the drama department  
**bich:** just make sure my man jacques uses that for drama and not for hot pockets lol  
**mercutioismyson:** !!!!!!! thank!!!!!!!!!! i will!!!!!!!!!!  
**bich:** aight but jenna can u spill that good tea on how they got together (eyes emoji)  
**dill pickle:** ^^^^^^^^  
**jennatheACEgossip:** okay so jer was gonna chicken out like we all knew he was  
**jennatheACEgossip:** but then our homeboy michael cornered him and asked what was up  
**bich:** oooo go mikey my boy!!! continue  
**jennatheACEgossip:** and jer panicked and they went to mikeys car to help jer calm himself  
**jennatheACEgossip:** then jer confessed, started crying  
**jennatheACEgossip:** mikey confessed back in a roundabout way, jer stopped crying  
**jennatheACEgossip:** a brief discussion ensued, jer smiled real big, and they kissed  
**dill pickle:** OOOOO IM SO PROUD MY SONS ARE GROWING UP  
**pinkberry:** !!!!! My boys!!!! I’m so proud of them!!!!  
**jennatheACEgossip:** they then nerded out over the kiss, another brief discussion ensued, and now jer is sitting on mikeys lap and theyre making out  
**Mythic Bitch:** Okay this is fucking amazing but jenna how the fuck havent they noticed you  
**jennatheACEgossip:** theyve either been looking at their hands or each other the whole encounter  
**bich:** GAY  
**Mythic Bitch:** Like youre not you ho  
**bich:** kk u right  
**jennatheACEgossip:** okay i have my scoop, im leaving before they start any sex shit  
**mercutioismyson:** understandable!! stay comfortable, jenna!!  
**jennatheACEgossip:** thanks mom lol  
**mercutioismyson:** okay but!! i would like to announce!!!  
**bich:** (eyes emoji) (eyes emoji) (eyes emoji) (eyes emoji) (eyes emoji) (eyes emoji)  
**mercutioismyson:** i saw brooke and chloe kissing in the hall today!!  
**bich:** w H A T  
**bich:** HOW LONG  
**pinkberry:** I, uhm, well-  
**Mythic Bitch:** 3 months!  <3 I love my brookie  
**bich:** WELL FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW I OWE JAKE 20  
**dill pickle:** aw hell yeah!  
**mercutioismyson:** lol!!!  
**mercutioismyson:** anyways, we should congratulate the new gays tomorrow!!!  
**bich:** aw hell yeah we are  
**bich:** they better be ready for glitter confetti  
**mercutioismyson:** rICH N O!!!!  
**bich:** riCH Y E S  
**dill pickle:** babe no  
**jennatheACEgossip:** ooo babe??  
**bich:** djnsfeabfeajkvefnajbvjenv j a k e p l e a s e  
**bich:** also no jenna were just rly close bros my dude right broski  
**dill pickle:** yes indeed broseph  
**jennatheACEgossip:** sounds fake but ok  
**dill pickle:** dont you start memeing in my group chat, rolan  
**bich:** somE BODY ONCE TOLD ME  
**Mythic Bitch:** Are we gonna have a problem?  
**bich:** oh shit no ma’am  
**pinkberry:** Rich…. That was a Heathers reference.  
**jennatheACEgossip:** top ten anime betrayals  
**bich:** i hate all of u fucks  
**bich:** but at least i got more money!!!!!! fuck yeah bitches!!!!!!  
**jennatheACEgossip:** anyways did you guys hear about madelines latest one night stand bc ommmmggggg you will not believe…  


Needless to say, Michael and Jeremy were incredibly confused to walk into lunch with slushies holding hands to see people coming up to Rich and handing him piles of cash. When asked for what reason, he dabbed and yelled “The gays, bitches!” and heelied out of the room.  


Christine told them the truth, and neither could stop blushing all throughout lunch.

**Author's Note:**

> btw the deleted message from mikey was
> 
>  **☆☆Player One ☆☆:** <3 love you
> 
> ;)
> 
> anyways!! ive been working on this for like a week on and off and im really happy with it!!! also!!! i know some american sign language as the child of 2 interpreters, and for the literal translation of "fuck off", it's "penis fuck" so uh that was funny.  
> also!! the sign for period (as in menstrual cycle b/c these idiot boys just looked up "period in sign" on the internet and didnt specify period as in _period of time_ so yeah) is a closed fist you tap against your right cheek, and prostitute is a loose fist you brush against your right cheek, so a beginning from a distance can mistake the two!!!  
>  also, despite writing that mikey spelled out jeremy, I'm pretty sure he'd just shorten it to the letter 'j' for simplicity's sake, which jer translated as "jeremy" in his head
> 
> so if you want me to draw or record what the signs would look like overall, i can try!!! just comment and ask or message me on tumblr!!! you can find me on tumblr at eli-the-aro!!!
> 
> anyways!!! i hope you all liked this!!! kudos and comments are REALLY REALLY APPRECIATED TRUST ME!!


End file.
